This was a really great month. I have never felt so in control of what I was eating and how I was exercising. And I lost 8 pounds! That's a big deal over here where a good month is one where I lose 5 pounds (often just a pound or two a month, and sometimes zero).
First, lets talk sugar free. That first week was very, very difficult, but once I got past through it wasn't so bad. I had some "safe treats" that I could have if I was really struggling. Sugar free pudding cups, sugar free fudgicles, and when I had a REALLY bad day, sugar free slow churned ice cream. These were a total lifesaver. Especially towards the end, I found just knowing they were there helped me, and I often didn't eat a treat at all. I would go all day and say, "If I need it, I can have a fudgcicle tonight." But then I get to the evening, and be like, "Nah, I don't need it." Some cool things happened too: I used to get shaky in the afternoon if I didn't eat something (and I often went to something sugary), and that feeling went away. I usually ate a small snack anyway, but I found I didn't need it like I did before. I would be lying if I said all my sugar cravings went away, because that's simply not true. I still love sugar and will love frosting until my dying day. But I learned I don't need it. I don't need it to be happy and I don't need it to give me comfort when things are hard.
My plan for the future is to do no sugar 6 days a week, and to have an "off" day once a week. I like baking and I missed it this last month, and I want an outlet for that. All through it I'm still following weight watchers and tracking my points so I don't binge on my day off. We'll see how it goes. Eventually, I want to be able to eat a cookie a day and not stress about it, but I don't think I'm there yet.
Fitness wise, I finished Insanity the first week into January, which was awesome. I felt really good, but I was also pretty burned out by Insanity, I wanted to do something different. And then, almost on a whim, I decided to train for a half marathon. What the what? I know. And here's the other kicker: I wanted to train for it outside, not on my (beloved) treadmill. I really wanted to see how running outside would go. I'm SO glad I tried, you guys, because I'm hooked. I now realize some of my fitness struggles were me just being bored on a treadmill. On the treadmill, I could go for about 30 minutes at 5mph, and I was pretty tired after that. I would push on and get myself up to 3 miles, and sometimes 5 miles, but after 30 minutes it always had to be a mix of running/walking, and sometimes stopping.
I ran 5 miles in 1 hour today, outside. That's a 12 minute mile without walking or stopping. I have NEVER done that. On my 3 mile days, I try to push my speed, and I have done a 5k in 33 minutes (which is a big deal for me, I've never been a fast runner). It's been really exhilarating to figure this out. I'm so happy I got brave and tried running outside. Now, no matter where I go, I can always get a great workout in by running, and that's a very liberating feeling. I should not, I'm not sure if I would have had so much success running if I hadn't done Insanity first. Insanity really pushed my fitness up a couple (of dozen) notches, and I plan to do it again in a few months. My Jillian Michael's DVDs are also super useful to add in a little strength training in a quick little workout with my running.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Week 1 of Sugar Free!
I did it! As silly as this sounds, I've never actually made it through an entire week of not eating sugar, so I'm feeling pretty darn good about it. The first few days were tough, and I definitely got headaches. The evenings were the worst, and my head would just pound. I was worried about the afternoons because that's when I crave something sugary the most, but they weren't so bad (possibly because I ate a bigger lunch to prepare myself). I've lost about 2 pounds, which isn't bad (especially for me).
Now, while sugar-free is the rule and the thing I'm checking off for each day, I'm also trying to eat fewer carbs and generally just staying within my daily points. I like the approach because it gives me a way to cheat if I feel I need to (I can eat carbs! They are not totally off-limits), but by working on not eating sugar I'm disposed to not waste this time eating a bunch of junk. Monday was rough (Jordan has been working very long hours the last week), so I decided to treat myself to some Chipotle. I actually had enough daily points for it, and even though it had carbs (because who can say no to cilantro lime rice?) I didn't break my goal of not eating sugar. But most days (including today) I'm probably eating less than 30 grams of carbs a day.
I did notice it taking a little bit of a toll on my workouts. I'm on my last week of Insanity (yay!) and not eating as many carbs as I usually do has meant my muscles are getting fatigued faster. I'm not totally sure what to do about this, except to work to add a few more carbohydrates in my diet, but make them more complex carbs (like fruits and brown rice).
I'm really excited to be done with Insanity. I'm ready to move on to something else. I think I'm going to train for a half marathon, but use my workout DVD's for some cross-training. Anyway, I'm feeling good!
Now, while sugar-free is the rule and the thing I'm checking off for each day, I'm also trying to eat fewer carbs and generally just staying within my daily points. I like the approach because it gives me a way to cheat if I feel I need to (I can eat carbs! They are not totally off-limits), but by working on not eating sugar I'm disposed to not waste this time eating a bunch of junk. Monday was rough (Jordan has been working very long hours the last week), so I decided to treat myself to some Chipotle. I actually had enough daily points for it, and even though it had carbs (because who can say no to cilantro lime rice?) I didn't break my goal of not eating sugar. But most days (including today) I'm probably eating less than 30 grams of carbs a day.
I did notice it taking a little bit of a toll on my workouts. I'm on my last week of Insanity (yay!) and not eating as many carbs as I usually do has meant my muscles are getting fatigued faster. I'm not totally sure what to do about this, except to work to add a few more carbohydrates in my diet, but make them more complex carbs (like fruits and brown rice).
I'm really excited to be done with Insanity. I'm ready to move on to something else. I think I'm going to train for a half marathon, but use my workout DVD's for some cross-training. Anyway, I'm feeling good!
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
A Year Ago
A year ago I decided I was really ready to do something different. After having Lucy, my weight was creeping up again, and I knew I didn't want to get to where I was after Clara. I didn't want to weigh that much. I had been so unhappy. So I decided I needed to do something real. Not drastic, but real. I realized that if I changed some habits, even if I only lost 1 pound a week, that would be 52 pounds in a year, and that would be major progress, so I joined weight watchers, wrote down EVERY SINGLE THING THAT I ATE and I exercised 4 days a week.
It's been 52 weeks, and I've actually lost LESS than a pound a week (ha), but I still feel good! When I started I could barely make it through a 20 minute Jillian Michaels workout, and now I'm on the second month of Insanity, with hour long workouts. I can run 3 miles at 5mph. I have exercised at least 4 days a week for an entire year. I've never, ever done that. Like, seriously, in my whole life. I've never exercised as consistently as I have this year. It feels great. I feel like I"m in really good shape. I can do a push up! Well, I can do about 4 real push ups and then I'm dead, but hey! it's a real, military style push up!
Eating is still my struggle, but I've never given up. I have always, always picked up myself up and worked on changing my approach to food. I write down everything I eat.
And in a year, I lost 30 pounds. 30 pounds! That's something! That's something real right there. I have more to lose. a lot more to lose. But I've made real progress and there's no way I'll ever discount that.
After all my good progress in my eating habits, this month I've decided to do a doozy... no-sugar January. It's not a forever change, it's a change to see if I can break my serious sugar habit that feels akin to being addicted to nicotine. But I know I can do it. I have had success, and I'm getting so much better at not feeling like I ahve to eat all the delicious food right.now.
Progress, people. I feel like I met the goals I gave myself last year. That feels so empowering, like I can really do anything I want.
It's been 52 weeks, and I've actually lost LESS than a pound a week (ha), but I still feel good! When I started I could barely make it through a 20 minute Jillian Michaels workout, and now I'm on the second month of Insanity, with hour long workouts. I can run 3 miles at 5mph. I have exercised at least 4 days a week for an entire year. I've never, ever done that. Like, seriously, in my whole life. I've never exercised as consistently as I have this year. It feels great. I feel like I"m in really good shape. I can do a push up! Well, I can do about 4 real push ups and then I'm dead, but hey! it's a real, military style push up!
Eating is still my struggle, but I've never given up. I have always, always picked up myself up and worked on changing my approach to food. I write down everything I eat.
And in a year, I lost 30 pounds. 30 pounds! That's something! That's something real right there. I have more to lose. a lot more to lose. But I've made real progress and there's no way I'll ever discount that.
After all my good progress in my eating habits, this month I've decided to do a doozy... no-sugar January. It's not a forever change, it's a change to see if I can break my serious sugar habit that feels akin to being addicted to nicotine. But I know I can do it. I have had success, and I'm getting so much better at not feeling like I ahve to eat all the delicious food right.now.
Progress, people. I feel like I met the goals I gave myself last year. That feels so empowering, like I can really do anything I want.
Friday, November 15, 2013
An update
Some days are harder than others. For a month now, I've been going back and forth from feeling proud of myself for making some serious commitments the last year, to being frustrated that those commitments haven't given me the result I wanted.
Here's the bad/frustrating:
1. Since January, I have lost 25 pounds. I know that seems like a lot, but consider that I have put a lot of energy into this, and that is less than a pound a week. That's pretty slow moving for the amount of focus I have been giving this whole thing. And I have a lot of weight left to lose.
2. I leave on a cruise in a little over 3 months, and I would like to seriously speed up my weight loss, and I don't know if I can.
3. Ok, that's a lie. I know I can. I'm just not sure I'm prepared to do what needs to be done. I'm not one of those people who just loses 2 pounds a week every week on weight watchers. I need to change something major in my diet, like going sugar free, or gluten free, or something, and I just don't know if I can do it. Certainly, I don't want to live the rest of my life that way. So is it worth it to lose a bunch of weight only to gain it back when I can't hold on to the dietary habits?
Here's the good:
1. I have been writing down everything thing I eat for nearly a year. I have been as honest as I can (with some short lapses, as those are bound to happen in a year).
2. I have developed this amazing exercise habit. I can't believe I have been regularly exercising (with pretty high intensity!) for nearly a year. I have never exercised regularly for that long in my adult life.
3. I went from barely being able to job 2 minutes to jogging strait for 30 minutes, and mostly jogging for 5 miles. I feel so good when I workout.
4. I am finishing up my second week of Insanity, and I really like it! It's a very difficult workout, but I truly did prepare myself for it. I find I can at least keep up with the video. I can't wait until next month when things get a little crazy, I think I'll really be able to push myself.
Anyway, I thing about all these things a lot. I'm really proud of myself for all the good things I've done the last year. I'm really scared of what I really need to do to lose weight. You guys, I REALLY like sugar. And I like weight watchers because it means I don't have to give up on sugar. :(
Here's the bad/frustrating:
1. Since January, I have lost 25 pounds. I know that seems like a lot, but consider that I have put a lot of energy into this, and that is less than a pound a week. That's pretty slow moving for the amount of focus I have been giving this whole thing. And I have a lot of weight left to lose.
2. I leave on a cruise in a little over 3 months, and I would like to seriously speed up my weight loss, and I don't know if I can.
3. Ok, that's a lie. I know I can. I'm just not sure I'm prepared to do what needs to be done. I'm not one of those people who just loses 2 pounds a week every week on weight watchers. I need to change something major in my diet, like going sugar free, or gluten free, or something, and I just don't know if I can do it. Certainly, I don't want to live the rest of my life that way. So is it worth it to lose a bunch of weight only to gain it back when I can't hold on to the dietary habits?
Here's the good:
1. I have been writing down everything thing I eat for nearly a year. I have been as honest as I can (with some short lapses, as those are bound to happen in a year).
2. I have developed this amazing exercise habit. I can't believe I have been regularly exercising (with pretty high intensity!) for nearly a year. I have never exercised regularly for that long in my adult life.
3. I went from barely being able to job 2 minutes to jogging strait for 30 minutes, and mostly jogging for 5 miles. I feel so good when I workout.
4. I am finishing up my second week of Insanity, and I really like it! It's a very difficult workout, but I truly did prepare myself for it. I find I can at least keep up with the video. I can't wait until next month when things get a little crazy, I think I'll really be able to push myself.
Anyway, I thing about all these things a lot. I'm really proud of myself for all the good things I've done the last year. I'm really scared of what I really need to do to lose weight. You guys, I REALLY like sugar. And I like weight watchers because it means I don't have to give up on sugar. :(
Monday, August 5, 2013
Busy Summer
But I'm still hanging on. I spent 5 1/2 weeks in Alaska, 2 weeks in Phoenix, 3 1/2 weeks in Missouri, and I've been home for almost 3 weeks. It's been interesting. I haven't gained back any weight, but I have gotten lax in my habits. The nice thing about vacations is that I don't tend to gain any weight, and indeed I weigh less now than I did when I left for Alaska. The problem with that is that I need solid habits when I'm home and by myself, and those habits have fallen by the wayside since all my trips. I've had a couple of "failed attempts" at getting back into writing everything down that I eat in order to be back into that habit. I attempted to do a low-carb week last week that totally failed on me, so I decided to just focus on being accountable and writing everything down. It's so hard to be honest with myself.
I exercised off and on while on vacation. In Alaska I went for walks and spent a week at the gym in there. Back home I did a couple of Jillian Michael work outs inconsistently, and then when I stayed in Missouri I didn't do anything for the first week and a half. But THEN my awesome sister in law Audra came, and she teaches a zumba class, so we did zumba every morning as a group! It was SO fun, I had such a great time. I wish I could do zumba with Audra everyday. :)
Since being home, I've had a hard time getting going with the exercise again, but I think I'm in a groove. The great thing that's happened since I was on vacation is that Lucy now sleeps through the night! That means that I'm not so sleep deprived and I can now wake up early to do my workouts BEFORE the kids wake up, leaving me feeling better throughout the day. I wake up at about 6:30 and I do 1 Jillian Michael workout (either from 30 Day Shred or Ripped in 30) and 20 minutes on the treadmill. And today instead of snacking all afternoon during nap time, I got on the treadmill and walked for an hour. Rocking it!
The big thing I'm working towards is a cruise to Mexico we booked. End of February. I would like to not hate myself as I get into a swimsuit. I want to be able to do the really fun, active excursions. I'm so excited to have some time for just Jordan and I (we haven't been away from the kids since Clara was born) for a whole week! I'm feeling really motivated by it, and I have some serious goals I'm working towards.
Over the next few months, after I wean Lucy, I'm thinking about doing either Insanity or P90X. Anyone have any recommendations?
I exercised off and on while on vacation. In Alaska I went for walks and spent a week at the gym in there. Back home I did a couple of Jillian Michael work outs inconsistently, and then when I stayed in Missouri I didn't do anything for the first week and a half. But THEN my awesome sister in law Audra came, and she teaches a zumba class, so we did zumba every morning as a group! It was SO fun, I had such a great time. I wish I could do zumba with Audra everyday. :)
Since being home, I've had a hard time getting going with the exercise again, but I think I'm in a groove. The great thing that's happened since I was on vacation is that Lucy now sleeps through the night! That means that I'm not so sleep deprived and I can now wake up early to do my workouts BEFORE the kids wake up, leaving me feeling better throughout the day. I wake up at about 6:30 and I do 1 Jillian Michael workout (either from 30 Day Shred or Ripped in 30) and 20 minutes on the treadmill. And today instead of snacking all afternoon during nap time, I got on the treadmill and walked for an hour. Rocking it!
The big thing I'm working towards is a cruise to Mexico we booked. End of February. I would like to not hate myself as I get into a swimsuit. I want to be able to do the really fun, active excursions. I'm so excited to have some time for just Jordan and I (we haven't been away from the kids since Clara was born) for a whole week! I'm feeling really motivated by it, and I have some serious goals I'm working towards.
Over the next few months, after I wean Lucy, I'm thinking about doing either Insanity or P90X. Anyone have any recommendations?
Friday, April 26, 2013
And back on the wagon
You guys, I'm feeling good. I'm feeling good because I can see behavior's in my life that previously derailed me that I am overcoming. I'm feeling good because I have good friends who are helping me through this and being very supportive. I'm feeling good because I feel like I can finally see my life piece together here in Phoenix. It's not perfect, not yet, but I can see friendships developing and that in the long run, I can make Phoenix my home.
I wrote earlier that last week was really difficult and that I had fallen into some bad habits. But I decided to take recovery seriously, and really focus on writing everything I ate down this week. I even did it with a friend, where I put some money in an envelope and if I slipped up, I'd have to give her that money. When I felt like I was struggling, I'd send her a text and she'd talk to me. And you guys, it worked! I have been on top of things! And that four pounds that I "put on" last week? Yeah, gone. Woot!
I feel like this is one of those defining moments, that when I look back and see that I even though I messed up, I was able to get back up, I'll realize this was what made all the difference. It's not about being perfect, it's about being committed.
Or maybe I just feel great because my house is clean. That also might be it. ;^)
I wrote earlier that last week was really difficult and that I had fallen into some bad habits. But I decided to take recovery seriously, and really focus on writing everything I ate down this week. I even did it with a friend, where I put some money in an envelope and if I slipped up, I'd have to give her that money. When I felt like I was struggling, I'd send her a text and she'd talk to me. And you guys, it worked! I have been on top of things! And that four pounds that I "put on" last week? Yeah, gone. Woot!
I feel like this is one of those defining moments, that when I look back and see that I even though I messed up, I was able to get back up, I'll realize this was what made all the difference. It's not about being perfect, it's about being committed.
Or maybe I just feel great because my house is clean. That also might be it. ;^)
Monday, April 22, 2013
Getting back on course
What a week. What a weekend. It wasn't pretty.
It started with Jordan working 16+ hours for three days in a row. Brutal. For everyone. It's not like Jordan wants to be there working that many hours; he was seriously sleep deprived. I was trying to hold the fort down, and I actually did alright in terms of not killing my children and not letting the house become a disaster zone. But what fell through the cracks? Oh yeah, my eating. A mix of I-deserve-this-because-my-two-year-old-just-smeared-peanut-butter-all-over-the-walls-plus-I-haven't-had-adult-conversation-in-days and all-by-myself-for-another-evening-I-should-make-those-sugar-cookie-bars-I-saw-on-pinterest-for-fun-and-yeah-I-can-eat-just-one-whoops-that's-a-lie. I managed to write everything day and stay within my points (meaning I used all my daily, weekly, and exercise point), but things really came apart Friday. Jordan could come home at a reasonable hour and I wanted to celebrate with a steak. A big, juicy steak. And some sweet potato fries that were so delicious, I still kinda think it was worth it.
Yeah, I didn't track that meal. Then I came home and ate the rest of the sugar cookie bars that I had so carefully cut and frozen so I would have to be accountable. I didn't track those either.
*big breath*
(For the record, it's the height of cruelty that it takes me 4 weeks to lose 4 pounds, and a single weekend to gain 4 pounds. Not fair world. Not fair.)
Anyway. So what do you do when you've worked for months and months, and then in a single weekend you break habits you've spent all that time trying to build, plus you go backwards like, 10 steps? The only thing you can do: recommit. And it's SO HARD. And it's completely mental, this idea that you messed up so you might as well not try again.
But I realized it all came down to one thing: I need to write down every single thing I eat. No excuses. Frankly, it almost doesn't matter if I go over points, but I need to not fall back into lying to myself.
I have another week ahead of me much like last. Jordan working mostly late nights. What are my coping plans? Well, first, I'm taking the freakin' car, no matter what (side note- why I didn't take the car last week is a long story fraught with marital arguments that I won't get into here. Conclusion: Jordan doesn't get a say). We're going to the splash pad tomorrow, and getting together with friends on Thursday.
Second, when I feel munchy after the kids go to bed because I'm bored and lonely, I'm texting my friends, and I'm going to try to convince them to talk me out of it. Also, find something to do with my hands.
Finally, I'm going to be nice to myself. This time of year is HARD, and it's ok to make mistakes. I just need to hold on to the habits that I know work.
It started with Jordan working 16+ hours for three days in a row. Brutal. For everyone. It's not like Jordan wants to be there working that many hours; he was seriously sleep deprived. I was trying to hold the fort down, and I actually did alright in terms of not killing my children and not letting the house become a disaster zone. But what fell through the cracks? Oh yeah, my eating. A mix of I-deserve-this-because-my-two-year-old-just-smeared-peanut-butter-all-over-the-walls-plus-I-haven't-had-adult-conversation-in-days and all-by-myself-for-another-evening-I-should-make-those-sugar-cookie-bars-I-saw-on-pinterest-for-fun-and-yeah-I-can-eat-just-one-whoops-that's-a-lie. I managed to write everything day and stay within my points (meaning I used all my daily, weekly, and exercise point), but things really came apart Friday. Jordan could come home at a reasonable hour and I wanted to celebrate with a steak. A big, juicy steak. And some sweet potato fries that were so delicious, I still kinda think it was worth it.
Yeah, I didn't track that meal. Then I came home and ate the rest of the sugar cookie bars that I had so carefully cut and frozen so I would have to be accountable. I didn't track those either.
*big breath*
(For the record, it's the height of cruelty that it takes me 4 weeks to lose 4 pounds, and a single weekend to gain 4 pounds. Not fair world. Not fair.)
Anyway. So what do you do when you've worked for months and months, and then in a single weekend you break habits you've spent all that time trying to build, plus you go backwards like, 10 steps? The only thing you can do: recommit. And it's SO HARD. And it's completely mental, this idea that you messed up so you might as well not try again.
But I realized it all came down to one thing: I need to write down every single thing I eat. No excuses. Frankly, it almost doesn't matter if I go over points, but I need to not fall back into lying to myself.
I have another week ahead of me much like last. Jordan working mostly late nights. What are my coping plans? Well, first, I'm taking the freakin' car, no matter what (side note- why I didn't take the car last week is a long story fraught with marital arguments that I won't get into here. Conclusion: Jordan doesn't get a say). We're going to the splash pad tomorrow, and getting together with friends on Thursday.
Second, when I feel munchy after the kids go to bed because I'm bored and lonely, I'm texting my friends, and I'm going to try to convince them to talk me out of it. Also, find something to do with my hands.
Finally, I'm going to be nice to myself. This time of year is HARD, and it's ok to make mistakes. I just need to hold on to the habits that I know work.
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