An update

Some days are harder than others.  For a month now, I've been going back and forth from feeling proud of myself for making some serious commitments the last year, to being frustrated that those commitments haven't given me the result I wanted.

Here's the bad/frustrating:

1. Since January, I have lost 25 pounds.  I know that seems like a lot, but consider that I have put a lot of energy into this, and that is less than a pound a week.  That's pretty slow moving for the amount of focus I have been giving this whole thing.  And I have a lot of weight left to lose.

2. I leave on a cruise in a little over 3 months, and I would like to seriously speed up my weight loss, and I don't know if I can.

3. Ok, that's a lie.  I know I can.  I'm just not sure I'm prepared to do what needs to be done.  I'm not one of those people who just loses 2 pounds a week every week on weight watchers.  I need to change something major in my diet, like going sugar free, or gluten free, or something, and I just don't know if I can do it.  Certainly, I don't want to live the rest of my life that way.  So is it worth it to lose a bunch of weight only to gain it back when I can't hold on to the dietary habits?

Here's the good:

1. I have been writing down everything thing I eat for nearly a year.  I have been as honest as I can (with some short lapses, as those are bound to happen in a year).

2. I have developed this amazing exercise habit.  I can't believe I have been regularly exercising (with pretty high intensity!) for nearly a year.  I have never exercised regularly for that long in my adult life.

3. I went from barely being able to job 2 minutes to jogging strait for 30 minutes, and mostly jogging for 5 miles.  I feel so good when I workout.

4. I am finishing up my second week of Insanity, and I really like it!  It's a very difficult workout, but I truly did prepare myself for it.  I find I can at least keep up with the video.  I can't wait until next month when things get a little crazy, I think I'll really be able to push myself.


Anyway, I thing about all these things a lot.  I'm really proud of myself for all the good things I've done the last year.  I'm really scared of what I really need to do to lose weight.  You guys, I REALLY like sugar.  And I like weight watchers because it means I don't have to give up on sugar.  :(