Getting back on course

What a week. What a weekend.  It wasn't pretty.

It started with Jordan working 16+ hours for three days in a row.  Brutal.  For everyone.  It's not like Jordan wants to be there working that many hours; he was seriously sleep deprived.  I was trying to hold the fort down, and I actually did alright in terms of not killing my children and not letting the house become a disaster zone.  But what fell through the cracks?  Oh yeah, my eating.  A mix of I-deserve-this-because-my-two-year-old-just-smeared-peanut-butter-all-over-the-walls-plus-I-haven't-had-adult-conversation-in-days and all-by-myself-for-another-evening-I-should-make-those-sugar-cookie-bars-I-saw-on-pinterest-for-fun-and-yeah-I-can-eat-just-one-whoops-that's-a-lie.  I managed to write everything day and stay within my points (meaning I used all my daily, weekly, and exercise point), but things really came apart Friday. Jordan could come home at a reasonable hour and I wanted to celebrate with a steak.  A big, juicy steak.  And some sweet potato fries that were so delicious, I still kinda think it was worth it.

Yeah, I didn't track that meal.  Then I came home and ate the rest of the sugar cookie bars that I had so carefully cut and frozen so I would have to be accountable.  I didn't track those either.

*big breath*

(For the record, it's the height of cruelty that it takes me 4 weeks to lose 4 pounds, and a single weekend to gain 4 pounds.  Not fair world.  Not fair.)

Anyway.  So what do you do when you've worked for months and months, and then in a single weekend you break habits you've spent all that time trying to build, plus you go backwards like, 10 steps?  The only thing you can do: recommit.  And it's SO HARD.  And it's completely mental, this idea that you messed up so you might as well not try again.

But I realized it all came down to one thing: I need to write down every single thing I eat.  No excuses.  Frankly, it almost doesn't matter if I go over points, but I need to not fall back into lying to myself.

I have another week ahead of me much like last.  Jordan working mostly late nights.  What are my coping plans?  Well, first, I'm taking the freakin' car, no matter what (side note- why I didn't take the car last week is a long story fraught with marital arguments that I won't get into here.  Conclusion: Jordan doesn't get a say).  We're going to the splash pad tomorrow, and getting together with friends on Thursday.

Second, when I feel munchy after the kids go to bed because I'm bored and lonely, I'm texting my friends, and I'm going to try to convince them to talk me out of it.  Also, find something to do with my hands.

Finally, I'm going to be nice to myself.  This time of year is HARD, and it's ok to make mistakes.  I just need to hold on to the habits that I know work.